I’ve become increasingly aware that if I can get curious about something that annoys me, I find fertile ground for growth. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not without internal resistance or friction but for now I’m deciding it is worth the exploration.
What am I annoyed about?
I’ve noticed that very often, well-meaning, intelligent and talented individuals organise and convene in a way that falls short of what matters most: connection and belonging. It is very clear when these essential ingredients of any form of meaningful collaboration are considered as an afterthought and not carefully designed for.
When we come together in these ways, mostly because ‘everyone is very busy’ so the workshop hosts want to ensure the session is ‘productive’, we miss out. We end up occupying the same space but what we do is brush past one another instead of connecting. We are rushed around answering questions. The person next to us might be able to answer the questions we’re currently investigating in our work but we won’t know it. We missed an opportunity to meaningfully connect and produce a different kind of outcome: coherence and belonging.
Why does it really annoy me?
Because we are dealing with planetary and societal collapse – and these ways of brushing and rushing past one another fall short of what’s required of us.
Of course, it is much easier to imagine what you might be doing to others when you experience it yourself. So, thank you, workshop hosts for reminding me we can be and do better than this.
Because deep down, why does it really really annoy me?
Because I know I do it too. It’s ironic because I really hate being rushed. I also try my best to treat others the way I’d like to be treated, so I really despise rushing others.
Sadly, sometimes ‘rushing others’ feels like the only way to play against people’s competing priorities… But …
Commitment
I will resist the urge to perpetuate this vicious cycle. I will resist the tendency to rush myself and others. I will intentionally design for connection, even when they are push backs. I will get better at articulating the intention so decisions are made consciously and ideally not made at all if not in service of coherence and belonging.
I will remember to be the change I want to see in this world and invite you too to resist and slow it down a notch.
When you next prepare a form of gathering, ask yourself: have I designed for connection?